Can’t Let Go? 10 Tips To Protecting Yourself From the Stalker Ex
Some of us are just too irresistible, and this can sometimes lead to having to deal with stalker exes. Most spurned lovers drop a few phone calls and emails in the weeks after a breakup, but the majority of them eventually get the message and move on with their life. When the breakup doesn’t go quite this smoothly and an ex is going ‘Fatal Attraction’ on you, there are a few important steps to take.
Call the Cops
This is always a good first option. Police usually cannot do much in many states unless the stalker has actually become physically dangerous, but having the incidents on record can protect you if you ever need to go Xena Warrior Princess on the ex.
Get a Dog
Getting a dog will help protect your humble abode. It’s important to make sure, however, that the dog actually is protective and can cause damage if need be. Your ex probably won’t be slowed down by the shrill yelp of a five pound rat look-alike on the other side of the door.
If your ex touches, grabs or even approaches you after exhibiting stalker behavior, you should throw the most epic tantrum in history. If he’s touching you, you need to scream, kick, yell and fight. If he’s approaching you, it may be enough to simply scream and yell. He probably is telling everyone that you’re crazy anyway, so this won’t really hurt your public image.
Remove Hiding Spots around Home
Tall bushes around windows can be an ideal hiding spot for stalker exes who want to keep an eye on you. You should trim these down so that they don’t provide any cover. This will protect you from your ex as well as nosey little neighbor boys who just hit puberty.
Install New Lighting
This may cost a bit of money, but it’s worth it if it serves as protection. Motion activated lighting systems usually scare off prowlers, stalker exes included, in an instant. Even if they know the lights are motion activated, they also know that you and neighbors will take notice of the sudden light.
Keep all Communications
South Carolina injury attorney, Howell and Christmas states that it is important to keep record of any communications the ex makes with you. Save voicemails. Keep letters. Get statements from coworkers who witnessed the ex coming to your office. These will all be necessary if you need to get further help from the police. They also make a good little memento to show off to your friends to prove that your loving drives the opposite sex crazy.
Fully Cut Off Contact
This is vitally important. Any communication with a stalker ex can make them think that they still have a chance. Do not do this, and for Pete’s sake, do not lead them on or keep them as a plan B. There’s really no way for that to end well unless you like ‘Silence of the Lambs’ reenactments.
Keep them Guessing
Change up your schedule as much as possible. This will greatly hinder your ex’s ability to follow you. Besides, the more time frames in which you visit the gym; the more likely you are to meet your future ex.
Create Distance Online
It’s also important to prevent your ex from stalking you online. If they have access to your social media sites, they likely have access to your plans, friends and activities. Block your ex from all of your social media pages and change your email. It’s also important to remember to block any of your ex’s friends who added you on these sites after meeting you. These ‘friends’ can provide information to your ex.
Think Ahead of Time
The absolute best way to stop a stalker ex is to never have one in the first place. Stalkers usually start out as over controlling and jealous lovers. They’ll try to tell you what to wear, who to hang out with and they will always want to know where you are. It’s amazing that people haven’t learned over the years that this is the behavior of a crazy person, so it’s imperative to get out of that situation before you have to follow these other rules.
All joking aside, stalkers will often turn out much more dangerous than we ever imagine, but the police often cannot do anything until the ex actually makes a valid threat or worse. Using the police as much as possible is helpful, but it’s also important for you to take your own steps to protect yourself. Doing this will definitely contribute to you not becoming a lamp shade in your weirdo ex’s apartment.
Bianca Ochoa is a freelance writer with an interest in lifestyle and relationship topics. She is also a contributing author for the firm of South Carolina injury attorney, Howell and Christmas, a personal injury and criminal law firm with experience representing their clients in cases of stalking, domestic violence and abuse.
Image credited to www.flickr.com
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